#58

(Written 30 min later)

I lay here at 312am awakened by a nightmare - commonplace for me. That's another story. However, as I lay here no longer tired, I feel the fan on my skin, and the soft glow of my computer screen is just enough to keep me in a haze.

It makes me close my eyes and think. First about nothing. Then about a bunch of things. Just laying down and thinking isn't something I've done much of until the past year. I've tried in the past but for different reasons I hit a wall. When I say thinking, I'm not talking about problem solving or what I have to do this coming week. A better word would be contemplative. Deeper thought.

Recently it has been an area I have been able to enjoy more than before. Something I didn't expect but hoped for. I don't get to do it a lot, but it's very worth the wait when the next moment comes. I had felt before that it was something I may not get the chance to really enjoy in life, but life surprises you.

It makes me happy.

Goodnight everyone.